Dog Days…

The dog days of summer remind me of the dog days of deployment.   It’s hot, you are tired, the sun and humidity keep pounding, and some days you aren’t sure you will make to the cool of Fall.

In the deployment world, you are past the past steep learning curve of the first few months.  You have likely settled into a rhythm. For some, this means keeping super busy in each day. For others, this means talking with your soldier every day or every chance you get.  For many, you have found strength and focus to stand strong at home for the good of the family. 

Then come the dog days. The long, hard, “groundhog day” type days. The weather is nice but your person isn’t here to enjoy with you.  You are learning new skills, making new friends, yet these will all be new to your person when they return.  Sometimes, you are feeling like a rock star in all you have accomplished or weathered.  Other moments, you just don’t want to do it anymore.  

For partners, this time can be so lonely.  While you have become adept at single parenting or showing up to events or doing tasks alone, it is hard not to notice the empty chair or table setting.  It is hard to keep your energy and enthusiasm up.  

For parents,  it’s lonely in a different way. You send packages or messages and wait expectantly for a response. ANY response.  You begin the day with a prayer for safety and often hope this will be the day you get a text message back.  You try to let go and not worry, but some days it is harder than others. 

The dog days of summer are tough. You know the cool is coming but it is still a ways off. 

During my fourth deployment, my mind knew to stay positive, upbeat, and “can do.”  Yet, my heart needed something different.  I needed to “acknowledge the suck.”  I needed to be able to say “this stinks,” “ I am tired,” “I wish it were over now.”   Being allowed to think and feel and say those things, I was able to muster the energy to get through. 

The thing about the dog days is you have to go through them. You can’t get around them.   

Wherever you are in these dog days,  know you are seen. Know you are not alone.  Know it’s ok to be tired and to want something different.  

It’s ok if you are cruising and keeping your mind and attitude up. And it’s ok if today is hard and you just need to say so.  

The cool weather IS coming.  There will be an end to the “heat”.   

And until then, and despite the COVID challenges of physical distance, we are all in this together.